Made.

Over the last week we’ve had the pleasure of seeing some of the best athletes in the word do what they do best at the 2021 Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan. It’s been both amazing and inspiring to see these elite athletes compete at the highest level.

As I’ve watched, one thing has become abundantly clear. You don’t make it to the olympics by accident. All of the athletes have devoted extensive time, energy, and focus toward their quest of going for the gold. While I definitely don’t have what it takes to be an olympian, that doesn’t mean that I can’t learn from them as I attempt to create a gold medal marriage.

More than a dream

Almost every medalist says it: “I’ve dreamt of this moment since I was a kid.” Olympic athletes don’t just dream, they dream big. However, they know that big dreams aren’t enough. They transform their dreams into goals, their goals into plans, and their plans into processes that they consistently execute.

Couples dream big as well. But while we all dream of finding the “right” partner, or having a happy family, many fail to realize that dreams can very easily become nightmares if we don’t put in the work. There is no such thing as meant to be, there is only made to be. So dream big. But make sure you transform your dreams into goals, your goals into plans, and your plans into processes. Then execute daily. Remember, “one who fails to plan, plans to fail.” This applies to every aspect of your life, including your relationship.

Set aside some time with you partner to answer these questions:

  1. What was your DREAM for our relationship when we first got together? Has it changed? If so, how?

  2. What are three GOALs we can set to help make our relationship dreams come true?

  3. How do we PLAN to achieve these goals?

  4. What PROCESSes can we put in place daily to help us execute our plan?

Go Together

The other staple of post-event olympic interviews is the shot of family, friends, and teammates wilding cheering their olympian on. When they do well, they’re there with encouragement and support. When they do poorly, they’re there with encouragement and support. Every elite athlete recognizes that they can’t do it alone. They need their team. They need their friends. They need their family. As the African proverb says: If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together. While the “us against the world” mentality may appeal to some, it rarely works in the long run. We need support.

Who’s rooting for your relationship? Who’s there with encouraging words or a supportive hug when your relationship is thriving? Who’s there with encouraging words or a supportive hug when your relationship is struggling? Elite athletes know that they can’t do it alone and elite couples know they need friends, family, therapists, and mentors to get them through.

True Champions

The heart of a champion is not just about being the best. For true olympians and healthy couples, it’s about doing their best, every day. The competition isn’t always about the competition. It’s about striving to be better, together.


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Have a topic you’d like to hear about? Email me at Drjblair@gmail.com